What is love? What ishappiness?

I was talking to another psychic friend last night regarding the topic of positive emotions: love, happiness, joy, peace... Where do these come from? Often I get emails from clients, and even casual emails from friends and family, with the same formula: "________ happened. I am so happy." I always giggle because I want to ask, "Well what were you before you got that news and/or that even happened?"

We are conditioned to believe that what we seek--love, happiness and acceptance--comes from without. No, this is not the case. Think back to when you were a child. Did you wake up everyday holding out hope for that dream career? Did you fixate on getting your ex boyfriend back? Somewhere along the line we are programmed to seek outside sources to gain what we truly can ourselves. We all have the special talent to feel happy and loved even when our external circumstances are less than ideal. Isn't it great we were given such an amazing birthright?

The truth is, love and happiness exist whether you see them or not. You have the power to grasp them at any given moment. This is your choice. You can either hold out for something to happen to make you feel great or you can take steps towards feeling peaceful with your given circumstances, even happy with those circumstances, without the desired outcome. You can come to a place of happiness, feeling loved and accepted, no matter what.

Is there a magic bullet to get into this state? Not exactly. It takes work and for some of us, it will take a lot of work:

Step 1.) Acknowledge the reality and the accountability with the given circumstance. Once you own your feelings, your fault and/or your role in the current position, you move out of helpless victim-hood and into a place of personal power.

Step 2.) Forgive yourself and others for what has happened and let that old story go with love and gratitude. Have a letting go ceremony if you need to for that old story. Stop convincing yourself that you won't be happy until _____ happens. Stop telling yourself that you are not loved until you have a romantic relationship. Take control and change your thoughts to a different radio station. Better yet, figure out where that old stinky belief came from and find forgiveness for yourself, others and/or the circumstance that implanted it.

Step 3.) Do not dwell on the past. More importantly, do not dwell on the need for your current circumstances to change. There isn't anything wrong with having desires, but we are breaking the addiction to needing outside "wants" to fulfill us and give us happiness. In order to do so, focus on the present situation and find what you are grateful for: friends? TV? pet? beautiful weather? physical health? career? Focus on what you have and come to a place of peace with your present life, even if this means you have only one thing to focus on. Small steps still result in progress!

Step 4.) Create a new story where you are the star. Pay attention to your hopes, dreams and desires for yourself. Find comfort, even when things seem to be stagnant or tumbling down around you. When old thought patterns arise, trust there is a reason things have happened and let it go.This can be the tricky part because we want to circle back to wanting for the sake of filling a place of lack. Do not go there. Only you can plug those holes.

Step 5.) Be happy! Tell yourself, "No matter what is going on around me, I am happy and I am loved." Use positive affirmations to keep yourself from going down the doom and gloom road. Use positive emotions as fuel for the manifesting process. Even by saying, "I am happy" or "I am loved" you are attracting these types of feelings. Start using those emotions to manifest for an area outside of what you are invested in: manifest new friends, a new hobby, a cup of coffee, a free desert, a spa day... As you attract positive experiences and emotions related to other areas of your life, you will begin to see how silly it is to look to a new job, a reunion with your ex or a new lover for fulfillment.

It just takes time, dedication and practice to not rely on a particular outcome as the source of love and happiness. Always remember that love and happiness, those vibrations, exist all over the Universe and they are free to grasp at any given moment. It's your birthright.