When things don't work out the way we planned, we are more than willing to shake our fingers at someone...ANYONE....and say, "IT WAS YOU!!!!!!" Have you ever thought that you should turn that finger around back on your self? We are the only ones in this world that have any control over our lives and our actions. Sure, things do happen that effect our lives that are outside of our control, but does that mean we need to give it extra special attention? Do we need to find something or someone to blame?
Blame, like guilt, is just a waste of time and energy. Do you honestly get any closer to peace by putting it all on another person--or even yourself, God or the universe? The truth is, each time we point our fingers at another, the universe will greet us with someone pointing his finger back at us. Do you feel any better putting the blame on yourself? What good does it do?
I'm guilty of this: Feeling either myself or another person had everything to do with a particular outcome and dwelling on the woulda, shoulda, coulda... I didn't want to see my role, only that someone was to blame. That vicious cycle always ended up the same: After about a week of engaging in that, I was tired, felt isolated and hated myself. The only things I was attracting into my life was negativity, sadness, fatigue, depression, anxiety and restlessness. Feeling that crappy will always attract more crap.
So what should we do with the part of us that wants to blame? For starters, it exists so don't ignore it but definitely tame it. Tell it, "Hey, I get your feeling this way, but guess what? I'm running this show and I am not going to blame anyone!" Often that side of us just needs acknowledgment. After acknowledging the blame-beast, be accountable for whatever part you have played in the outcome. Be honest about it. If you said something to instigate a fight, you did. If you never called that person, you didn't. If you were always late to work, you were. Don't spend too much time thinking about it and don't beat yourself up over it. It's in the past. Realize that nobody was standing above you pulling on those puppet strings. It's about learning from those situations. Which leads me to the next point--leave the other person or people and God out of the equation. Even if another person created a situation that is on them NOT you. Don't feel guilty, don't place blame. That person needs to deal with his/her own accountability, not you. You need to deal with your own--the good, the bad and even the ugly.
The best remedy I know for finger pointing is to find compassion for the other person, even if that person is yourself. Life can be rough and bumpy at times, but we are all in this together. Life happens to all of us. Make peace with yourself, your situation and you'll begin to attract the "like" into your life. Love, happiness, harmony and abundance.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Battling a Bathroom Clog: A Lesson in Resistance
In corner one: Me....
In corner two: Bathroom drain clog....
I am incredibly stubborn and spent about 3 hours yesterday battling a bathroom clog. For anyone that knows me personally, when I set my focus to something, I get it. Sometimes that means: No ifs, no ands and no buts... Especially if I have an idea of how, when and what.... Screw the universe, God and whatever is in my highest good. I am GETTING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
I heard myself over and over again: "I'm gonna use this liquid stuff and you'll go away". When that didn't work, I tried another bottle. I got out the plunger, covered the overflow in the sink and plunged for nearly 2 hours straight. The whole time I heard myself: "This is how it will get unclogged. I am not going to stop until this clog is gone even if I have to be here until tomorrow morning and get under there and do this myself." I plunged away until I was exhausted, sweaty and my cabinet under my sink began to fill with water from excess leaks underneath. Gah! What a mess! I finally took a deep breath and realized that I needed to stop resisting!
I laughed at the message. Learning to let go of resistance was one of the hardest lessons I have learned. I still struggle with it. Although not as much as I used to--Thank God! The problem with resistance is rather than letting go and having faith that the universe will bring you what is in your highest good, you treat God like a waitress/waiter at a diner:
*"I want my ex boyfriend/ex girlfriend to come back. I want him/her to feel sorry for what he did and this better happen before Christmas. Oh, and if you could bring that with a side of money, that would be great!"
*"I can't stand working in a small town. I don't want a job in a small town. I want a clerical job in the city and I want to work for a woman that gives me Fridays off. If you'd throw in a lottery win, but only on a Saturday, I'd love it!"
*"I really want THAT house. No, I realize I could get a better deal elsewhere if I'd just be willing to live out of the city, but I want THAT house."
Wow! Who do we think we are? Of course you are entitled to a life filled with love, happiness and abundance, but don't you suppose there is a force that has greater plans for you? Why are you on this planet if you have learned it all, right?
Rather than battling with resistance, be open to what the universe has in store for you. Don't fixate on every single detail that you don't allow anything in your highest good to come in. Be willing to make statements that allow God to bring you what you desire...and certainly something better:
*"I want a relationship that leads towards marriage."
*"I want a job where I am happy and leaves my family in financial comfort."
*"I want a new car."
*"I'd like to meet new friends."
*"I want to learn how to play an instrument."
Battling resistance is a lot like battling that drain clog, the more I pushed and focused on how I wanted it, the messier it got. I resisted and it persisted. I ended up getting professional help and when I came home from work, my drain was unclogged, my sink was very clean and wiped down and all the towels that were all over the floor had been hung up to dry. It looked better than I could have imagined. I found it hard not to smile. When I let go, stopped resisting, had faith and put my trust in the universe, I got what I wanted...and something better!
In corner two: Bathroom drain clog....
I am incredibly stubborn and spent about 3 hours yesterday battling a bathroom clog. For anyone that knows me personally, when I set my focus to something, I get it. Sometimes that means: No ifs, no ands and no buts... Especially if I have an idea of how, when and what.... Screw the universe, God and whatever is in my highest good. I am GETTING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
I heard myself over and over again: "I'm gonna use this liquid stuff and you'll go away". When that didn't work, I tried another bottle. I got out the plunger, covered the overflow in the sink and plunged for nearly 2 hours straight. The whole time I heard myself: "This is how it will get unclogged. I am not going to stop until this clog is gone even if I have to be here until tomorrow morning and get under there and do this myself." I plunged away until I was exhausted, sweaty and my cabinet under my sink began to fill with water from excess leaks underneath. Gah! What a mess! I finally took a deep breath and realized that I needed to stop resisting!
I laughed at the message. Learning to let go of resistance was one of the hardest lessons I have learned. I still struggle with it. Although not as much as I used to--Thank God! The problem with resistance is rather than letting go and having faith that the universe will bring you what is in your highest good, you treat God like a waitress/waiter at a diner:
*"I want my ex boyfriend/ex girlfriend to come back. I want him/her to feel sorry for what he did and this better happen before Christmas. Oh, and if you could bring that with a side of money, that would be great!"
*"I can't stand working in a small town. I don't want a job in a small town. I want a clerical job in the city and I want to work for a woman that gives me Fridays off. If you'd throw in a lottery win, but only on a Saturday, I'd love it!"
*"I really want THAT house. No, I realize I could get a better deal elsewhere if I'd just be willing to live out of the city, but I want THAT house."
Wow! Who do we think we are? Of course you are entitled to a life filled with love, happiness and abundance, but don't you suppose there is a force that has greater plans for you? Why are you on this planet if you have learned it all, right?
Rather than battling with resistance, be open to what the universe has in store for you. Don't fixate on every single detail that you don't allow anything in your highest good to come in. Be willing to make statements that allow God to bring you what you desire...and certainly something better:
*"I want a relationship that leads towards marriage."
*"I want a job where I am happy and leaves my family in financial comfort."
*"I want a new car."
*"I'd like to meet new friends."
*"I want to learn how to play an instrument."
Battling resistance is a lot like battling that drain clog, the more I pushed and focused on how I wanted it, the messier it got. I resisted and it persisted. I ended up getting professional help and when I came home from work, my drain was unclogged, my sink was very clean and wiped down and all the towels that were all over the floor had been hung up to dry. It looked better than I could have imagined. I found it hard not to smile. When I let go, stopped resisting, had faith and put my trust in the universe, I got what I wanted...and something better!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The Power of Words
"I am unlovable"..."Nobody likes me"...."I am beautiful"...."I have all the time in the world"
Words and our self expression are VERY powerful. Whatever you express, begins to manifest almost instantaneously. You are telling the universe: "This is MY truth". God gave you the spoken word for this simple reason. Your personal truth is very powerful, so be wise in using your gift of spoken word. This includes not just the words you say to others, but what you say in your inner dialogue.
It's well known that words and other forms of self expression have vibrations and are indeed energy. For those who understand the laws of attraction and manifesting, words are the "like attracts like" in the entire equation. Try it sometime: Think of a funny word and say it out loud. Watch how quickly you see an advertisement on TV or the internet containing that work, how someone brings it up in conversation (sometimes many people in the same conversation) or how a stranger will say it in passing through the grocery store.
With the understanding that our words are magnets, we can begin to change what we say to reflect our inner truth and manifest the life we truly desire. Sounds simple, right? It IS! All it takes is work and the conscious understanding that what you say will reflect you. I am not suggesting you go out in the world, with your opinions and judgments and ball-bust everyone that crosses your path. I am suggesting you take stock in what is truly important to you and realize that you are deserving of it: friendships, support, love, abundance, money, a new home, a loving relationship... You do not need to live a life of lack, a life of fear, a life of loneliness.
We are humans with wills so we will have arguments and become frustrated with one another...or even with our self. That is okay. It's important to remember during these times that we speak the truth instead of tossing around harsh words. I'm guilty of this as much as the next person. It can be so hard to calm the volatile tongue when it gets going, but remember that whatever you put out, you will get back from the universe. This includes gossip, slander, opinions, judgments... I have been in arguments myself where I have called someone defective, only to find out that the very same person had a similar belief of me in a different conversation. I've told the universe, "I never want to hear from that person again!" and that is exactly what I got until I changed my tone.
Here are ways in which you can get in touch with your truth:
1.) Make a list of what you desire and phrase it in the present tense:
"I have more than enough money to live a comfortable and relaxing life."
"I am a beautiful person and heal others with my words."
2.) Find a hobby or become reacquainted with an old one Play an instrument, write, journal, dance, go for a walk, cook...
3.) Listen to your inner voice and shut out any negative thoughts. Tell them that they are "old news" and you don't need those thoughts anymore.
4.) Come up with fun affirmations and place them around your home.
5.) BREATHE!!!!!!!!!! Don't be so eager to respond in conversation or jump the gun when you are upset. Take a breath, or 5 breaths, before you say anything. This also applies if you are having a bad day.
6.) Me-time is very important. Take a time out, at least once a day, to do something you enjoy.
7.) Don't hide your feelings. Express them in a positive way by either journaling, talking to a friend, setting boundaries in relationships, speaking up and saying, "This doesn't feel right. I need a few moments before I decide."
8.) If you must get angry, excuse yourself and be angry for a limited amount of time. Don't suppress your feelings. Afterward, have a good laugh at it. This also applies to other negative or self-defeating feelings.
8.) Find the truth in others. Listen during conversation without thinking about how you will respond. Often we are paired with people who will teach us about our truth through mere reflection.
There are many ways to express yourself: words, song, writing, cooking, dancing... Make your world reflect what you desire. Remember that all these forms of self-expression are your gifts! What does your self expression say about you and your reality? What are you telling the world you want to attract? Are these expressions coming from your place of truth, your heart, or from a place of negativity?
Words and our self expression are VERY powerful. Whatever you express, begins to manifest almost instantaneously. You are telling the universe: "This is MY truth". God gave you the spoken word for this simple reason. Your personal truth is very powerful, so be wise in using your gift of spoken word. This includes not just the words you say to others, but what you say in your inner dialogue.
It's well known that words and other forms of self expression have vibrations and are indeed energy. For those who understand the laws of attraction and manifesting, words are the "like attracts like" in the entire equation. Try it sometime: Think of a funny word and say it out loud. Watch how quickly you see an advertisement on TV or the internet containing that work, how someone brings it up in conversation (sometimes many people in the same conversation) or how a stranger will say it in passing through the grocery store.
With the understanding that our words are magnets, we can begin to change what we say to reflect our inner truth and manifest the life we truly desire. Sounds simple, right? It IS! All it takes is work and the conscious understanding that what you say will reflect you. I am not suggesting you go out in the world, with your opinions and judgments and ball-bust everyone that crosses your path. I am suggesting you take stock in what is truly important to you and realize that you are deserving of it: friendships, support, love, abundance, money, a new home, a loving relationship... You do not need to live a life of lack, a life of fear, a life of loneliness.
We are humans with wills so we will have arguments and become frustrated with one another...or even with our self. That is okay. It's important to remember during these times that we speak the truth instead of tossing around harsh words. I'm guilty of this as much as the next person. It can be so hard to calm the volatile tongue when it gets going, but remember that whatever you put out, you will get back from the universe. This includes gossip, slander, opinions, judgments... I have been in arguments myself where I have called someone defective, only to find out that the very same person had a similar belief of me in a different conversation. I've told the universe, "I never want to hear from that person again!" and that is exactly what I got until I changed my tone.
Here are ways in which you can get in touch with your truth:
1.) Make a list of what you desire and phrase it in the present tense:
"I have more than enough money to live a comfortable and relaxing life."
"I am a beautiful person and heal others with my words."
2.) Find a hobby or become reacquainted with an old one Play an instrument, write, journal, dance, go for a walk, cook...
3.) Listen to your inner voice and shut out any negative thoughts. Tell them that they are "old news" and you don't need those thoughts anymore.
4.) Come up with fun affirmations and place them around your home.
5.) BREATHE!!!!!!!!!! Don't be so eager to respond in conversation or jump the gun when you are upset. Take a breath, or 5 breaths, before you say anything. This also applies if you are having a bad day.
6.) Me-time is very important. Take a time out, at least once a day, to do something you enjoy.
7.) Don't hide your feelings. Express them in a positive way by either journaling, talking to a friend, setting boundaries in relationships, speaking up and saying, "This doesn't feel right. I need a few moments before I decide."
8.) If you must get angry, excuse yourself and be angry for a limited amount of time. Don't suppress your feelings. Afterward, have a good laugh at it. This also applies to other negative or self-defeating feelings.
8.) Find the truth in others. Listen during conversation without thinking about how you will respond. Often we are paired with people who will teach us about our truth through mere reflection.
There are many ways to express yourself: words, song, writing, cooking, dancing... Make your world reflect what you desire. Remember that all these forms of self-expression are your gifts! What does your self expression say about you and your reality? What are you telling the world you want to attract? Are these expressions coming from your place of truth, your heart, or from a place of negativity?
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