I know, WOW! What does that mean??? LOL I've studied the Universal Laws for years and even as a scientist I get lost in the gobbly goop of explanations. Simply put: Energy is constantly moving, change is inevitable and we have the ability, through intent and action, to change the energy in our experience. Through choosing higher vibrations of love and compassion, for example, we have the ability to heal and transmute lower vibrations. It's all about what you invite into your space.
Recent events in my life have brought to my attention the way in which we invite, or allow, certain energies and experiences into our reality. I went on a vacation alone a few weeks ago and manifested a free hotel upgrade, free good and drinks and good company at a local hangout. The vacation itself was something I manifested--inexpensive and luxurious. I had a great time, but what stuck out the most from my experience was how I allowed certain things to enter into my reality. For example, as I was traveling to the local hangout, I decided that I would have fun no matter what, good people would talk to me, I would make friends, I simply would not allow anything but the positive into my space. If this meant I spent my time alone, then so be it. I was okay with either outcome, of course, but what happened was I sat in the right place at the right time, befriended the owner of the place and some staff and ended up eating and drinking for free the entire night. I had wonderful conversation with people I felt very connected to. I looked around the hangout, realizing there were a number of people in there who easily could have sat by me, but it was my allowance of a positive experience that attracted just that into my reality.
Drama, arguments, fights, saddness, hostility... These are all things we allow into our reality. Think of these negative feelings like the vampire at the door. Would you invite him to dinner? We always have a choice to use higher vibrations--love, peace, compassion, forgiveness, etc--to transmute these lower vibrations into higher ones. We always have a choice of what enters into our reality.
This gets trickier when another person or people are involved. You do not want to override their free will. Rather, present with your energy what you will allow into your space, not from a place of fear but from a place of love and compassion. Allow that person the ability to be angry but do not allow it to affect you in your space. Allow another person to fail, but not in a way that that harms you. Allow people the grace to go through their crap, but do not allow it to drag you down. Allowing another person the freedom to go through their "stuff" comes from the ultimate place of trust and acceptance. By setting up a boundary of what you allow, you are also loving yourself. It's a win-win situation.
Another component of this law is that higher vibrations will always transmute (change or heal) the lower vibrations. Scientifically, this makes sense. Think of it this way: If a ball is bouncing quickly--think of this as love-- and it bumps into a ball that is slow moving--think of this as fear or anger--the higher vibrating ball will cause the lower vibrating ball to accelerate. If you have a hard time visualizing, give it a try. :) By choosing to live at a higher vibration you are not only healing yourself, you are healing others. We are all connected, like beads on a string, and the shift of one person will impact all of us. Consider it your gift to humanity to choose love, kindness and compassion.
Be a source of love and light and allow your energy to heal yourself and others. Stop inviting negative emotions, people and experiences into your world. Grant others the grace to make their mistakes, live their lives and learn their lessons. Send out love and acceptance and it will come back.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
"Mirror, Mirror on the Wall": The Law of Correspondence
I am a huge advocate of manifesting, co-creating your life through intention and feeling. However, there are other universal laws which need to be taken into account, ones that are often overlooked when we get into the attitude of "I want". We expect the outer world to come to us, without considering how our inner world reflects that. We make lists, create vision boards, ask and believe we will receive. Still, we are not receiving what we want. Is it our belief system? Did we do something wrong? It may be that you are not reflecting into the world what it is you want. Rather, your inner world is one that cannot possibly attract what you want in correspondence with the Law of Attraction. When our inner world matches our outer world, we will attract just what we desire: This is the Law of Correspondence.
A friend of mine reminded me of this universal law recently and I had forgotten of its importance. I think when one approaches this law, it can be so easy to ask, "What came first? The chicken or the egg?" You blame yourself for what you attract, rather than taking accountability for healing your inner turmoil and focusing on how to become what you want to attract. The Law of Attraction has great promise, but it also coincides with other universal laws. You simply cannot expect the outer world to bring you a new car, a new relationship, a new career, if that is not what you are reflecting from your inner world. Often, this is a case where doing inner work is required to heal beliefs, attitudes, rituals and feelings, in order to create the mirror of what you want to attract. This is why, I believe, it is so easy to manifest a free cup of coffee. As long as you believe it is true, it'll happen. You reflect outward the belief "I have a free cup of coffee." A relationship, on the other hand, requires you to mirror what you want in a partner in order to attract a particular partner. If you are hiding behind insecurities, rest assured you will attract a partner who will rock those beliefs and magnify them.
Over the past year, my security has been shaken. I do see it as a lesson for growth, but for awhile I got into victim thinking that this was all happening to me. I did not feel secure and life reflected back to me, in the most obvious way, that I was not secure. I do not blame myself for attracting job loss, a boyfriend who has challenged my security, and for getting cancer (among other things) but I do recognize that my inner world screams, "I am not safe!". I have rituals and beliefs I used to keep myself safe from being physically and emotionally harmed.
When it comes to attracting anything into your world, the best bet is to focus on how or who you want to be in this situation. Leave the "other guy" out of it. Don't focus on having a boss who is level headed or a boyfriend who isn't angry. Rather, focus on being level headed yourself and calm in the face of an angry boyfriend. This way you are co-creating changes in your inner world. This alone might not do the trick, but it is a step in the right direction, along with working with a trusted coach, friend, counselor or advisor, to become the mirror of what you want to attract into your world.
A friend of mine reminded me of this universal law recently and I had forgotten of its importance. I think when one approaches this law, it can be so easy to ask, "What came first? The chicken or the egg?" You blame yourself for what you attract, rather than taking accountability for healing your inner turmoil and focusing on how to become what you want to attract. The Law of Attraction has great promise, but it also coincides with other universal laws. You simply cannot expect the outer world to bring you a new car, a new relationship, a new career, if that is not what you are reflecting from your inner world. Often, this is a case where doing inner work is required to heal beliefs, attitudes, rituals and feelings, in order to create the mirror of what you want to attract. This is why, I believe, it is so easy to manifest a free cup of coffee. As long as you believe it is true, it'll happen. You reflect outward the belief "I have a free cup of coffee." A relationship, on the other hand, requires you to mirror what you want in a partner in order to attract a particular partner. If you are hiding behind insecurities, rest assured you will attract a partner who will rock those beliefs and magnify them.
Over the past year, my security has been shaken. I do see it as a lesson for growth, but for awhile I got into victim thinking that this was all happening to me. I did not feel secure and life reflected back to me, in the most obvious way, that I was not secure. I do not blame myself for attracting job loss, a boyfriend who has challenged my security, and for getting cancer (among other things) but I do recognize that my inner world screams, "I am not safe!". I have rituals and beliefs I used to keep myself safe from being physically and emotionally harmed.
When it comes to attracting anything into your world, the best bet is to focus on how or who you want to be in this situation. Leave the "other guy" out of it. Don't focus on having a boss who is level headed or a boyfriend who isn't angry. Rather, focus on being level headed yourself and calm in the face of an angry boyfriend. This way you are co-creating changes in your inner world. This alone might not do the trick, but it is a step in the right direction, along with working with a trusted coach, friend, counselor or advisor, to become the mirror of what you want to attract into your world.
Wash, Rinse, Repeat
Over the course of the past year, I have been presented with many pitfalls. Life has been one hardship after the next, sprinkled with some happy moments. I am not a victim here--Life happens and it simply is what it is. What I recognize from this past year is a continuation of a lesson that has been presented to me all my life: the fear of insecurity. I don't mean this in a confidence sense, but in many ways my world has been made less-than-secure, leaving me to doubt if I will ever be safe again.
I grew up in a household with an abusive mother. I never felt safe, in the basic of all relationships, the one between a mother and child. As I continued to grow, I can recognize many times in which I never felt safe. I am even jumpy when I ride in a car because I have been in numerous auto accidents. In this past year, my security has been threatened by acts of infidelity by my boyfriend, the loss of my scientific funding and through my illness. I had an epiphany last night about how I am challenged, many times over, to feel safe in my skin, safe in this world. It is a recurring theme, a lesson that continues to be presented to me.
Here is the thing about lessons: You will keep getting them hurled at you until you move beyond the hurdle. Even if you transcend one aspect of the lesson, life will continue to throw "stuff" at you until you advance to another level. It reminds me of a video game, with rewards but also increasing challenges as we move to higher levels.
One of my favorite authors says that life is soul school. It's true! We are always presented with a series of smaller lessons on a day to day basis which challenge our beliefs about love, compassion, forgiveness and the like. However, we are also presented with increasing lessons in particular areas because we chose them. That's right--We chose to come here to have experiences, which allow us to learn and grow in particular areas whether your perception of those experiences are positive or negative. Remember, life is not about "good or bad". As you learn your lessons, more will be hurled your way. It never stops and the best way to handle it is with grace. Grace accepts that life happens, not to us, but that it just happens. Grace says, "Oh, isn't that interesting?" not "Why is this happening to me?" Grace is open to a gift in all situations and it takes that gift and rejoices in it, even if is not discovered for months or years. A shift in perception can make a world of a difference when it comes to navigating through the negative. I have found the quicker we fall into grace, the quicker we move forward... maybe to another lesson, but certainly it is always for our highest good.
Thankfully, life threw all of this at me at once, so that I can finally see the "wash, rinse, repeat" cycle. What recurring themes do you see in the hardships that life throws at you? Do you challenge intimacy? Do you worry about money? Do you feel unsafe, unloved, abandoned, fearful? Where have you experienced loss? Annoyance? Pain? Struggles?
Whatever rocks you, rest assured that is your lesson.
I grew up in a household with an abusive mother. I never felt safe, in the basic of all relationships, the one between a mother and child. As I continued to grow, I can recognize many times in which I never felt safe. I am even jumpy when I ride in a car because I have been in numerous auto accidents. In this past year, my security has been threatened by acts of infidelity by my boyfriend, the loss of my scientific funding and through my illness. I had an epiphany last night about how I am challenged, many times over, to feel safe in my skin, safe in this world. It is a recurring theme, a lesson that continues to be presented to me.
Here is the thing about lessons: You will keep getting them hurled at you until you move beyond the hurdle. Even if you transcend one aspect of the lesson, life will continue to throw "stuff" at you until you advance to another level. It reminds me of a video game, with rewards but also increasing challenges as we move to higher levels.
One of my favorite authors says that life is soul school. It's true! We are always presented with a series of smaller lessons on a day to day basis which challenge our beliefs about love, compassion, forgiveness and the like. However, we are also presented with increasing lessons in particular areas because we chose them. That's right--We chose to come here to have experiences, which allow us to learn and grow in particular areas whether your perception of those experiences are positive or negative. Remember, life is not about "good or bad". As you learn your lessons, more will be hurled your way. It never stops and the best way to handle it is with grace. Grace accepts that life happens, not to us, but that it just happens. Grace says, "Oh, isn't that interesting?" not "Why is this happening to me?" Grace is open to a gift in all situations and it takes that gift and rejoices in it, even if is not discovered for months or years. A shift in perception can make a world of a difference when it comes to navigating through the negative. I have found the quicker we fall into grace, the quicker we move forward... maybe to another lesson, but certainly it is always for our highest good.
Thankfully, life threw all of this at me at once, so that I can finally see the "wash, rinse, repeat" cycle. What recurring themes do you see in the hardships that life throws at you? Do you challenge intimacy? Do you worry about money? Do you feel unsafe, unloved, abandoned, fearful? Where have you experienced loss? Annoyance? Pain? Struggles?
Whatever rocks you, rest assured that is your lesson.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Reality Check: Life and Cancer Happen
I've been away awhile, handling my own life. For those of you who do not know, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December and my life between that time and now has been, well, a mix of chaos and drugs. I had a mastectomy at the end of January and am currently "no evidence of disease" with no further treatment required. I'm about as lucky as one can get with cancer.
Most would call me insane for saying that breast cancer was the best thing that could have happened to me, but it is. It gave me a strong and solid reality check. I used to believe that good things happened to good people, that justice is always done (karma) and that as long as you took care of yourself and believed in health, you'd live a long and healthy life. Boy, those things have shifted. I now believe: good health is wasted on the healthy, justice will not be done unless you take matters into your own hands and that good does not always prevail.
Pretty darn negative, huh? Well, not really. It's reality. We simply will not always get what we want., sometimes karma takes time--lifetimes--to come around and even if you do everything "right", you can still be handed a heaping pile of crap on a plate. What you CAN do is more important. You CAN decide. Decide to not let the sh*t storm blow over your sailing ship. Decide to not give a crap if what's his face didn't call. Decide to take steps in living your life as it is right now, enjoying it as it is.
I always thought I had a clear image of what I wanted in my life until I got cancer. When someone hands you the death card, it becomes evident what you want. I realize now how many times I dismissed what was truly important to me. Underneath the surface of "this is what I should do with my life" were glimmers of feelings of what I truly wanted. I've never felt more clear than I do right now about my career, my lifestyle, what type of relationship/family that I want. The truth is: Even if those things don't happen, I will be OK!
So let me ask you: Are you hiding behind another person's idea of what your life should be? What do you really want for yourself?
I also realized who was important to me. I was shocked by the lack of support I received from my own mother. She made my surgery about her and milked it for all it was worth. My father, brother and boyfriend were my main caretakers. I can't fault my mother for how she behaved, she was probably scared. Even if she wasn't, it is what it is and nothing I do nor think is gonna change that. Which brings me to another reality check: Your past only haunts you if you allow it. Yup! That's right. When you are wronged by others, when something doesn't go as planned, DO something to empower yourself about the situation. Don't piss and moan about how so-an-so didn't do x, y, and z. Move forward.
So let me ask you: Who/what has held you in the past? Are you willing to let it go?
Bad days? Yup! I've had them. You will too. The key is to not stay stuck in them. If today was my last day on Earth the last way I'd wanna spend it is on the couch moping about something. It's okay to have these feelings but once they become all consuming, you've got a problem. He didn't call? So what, take a bath. You didn't land the job of your dreams? So what, go out with your friends. Celebrate LIFE! We spend so much time mourning over things we cannot change, people we cannot change. While letting go is important, it's also equally important to celebrate the life you have right now.
So let me ask you: If today was your last day alive, how would you spend it? With who?
Sh*t happens. Life will not always be rainbows. However, you ALWAYS have power in how you respond and react to any of life's lemons. The power of decision cannot be taken away. Unless, of course, you choose to give it away. Which brings me to my final reality check: The power of decision is wasted on those who choose not to use it, who instead hand it over to a friend, a lover, a spouse, a situation, even cancer...
So let me ask you: Who/what is making your decisions? Who/what has your power?
Most would call me insane for saying that breast cancer was the best thing that could have happened to me, but it is. It gave me a strong and solid reality check. I used to believe that good things happened to good people, that justice is always done (karma) and that as long as you took care of yourself and believed in health, you'd live a long and healthy life. Boy, those things have shifted. I now believe: good health is wasted on the healthy, justice will not be done unless you take matters into your own hands and that good does not always prevail.
Pretty darn negative, huh? Well, not really. It's reality. We simply will not always get what we want., sometimes karma takes time--lifetimes--to come around and even if you do everything "right", you can still be handed a heaping pile of crap on a plate. What you CAN do is more important. You CAN decide. Decide to not let the sh*t storm blow over your sailing ship. Decide to not give a crap if what's his face didn't call. Decide to take steps in living your life as it is right now, enjoying it as it is.
I always thought I had a clear image of what I wanted in my life until I got cancer. When someone hands you the death card, it becomes evident what you want. I realize now how many times I dismissed what was truly important to me. Underneath the surface of "this is what I should do with my life" were glimmers of feelings of what I truly wanted. I've never felt more clear than I do right now about my career, my lifestyle, what type of relationship/family that I want. The truth is: Even if those things don't happen, I will be OK!
So let me ask you: Are you hiding behind another person's idea of what your life should be? What do you really want for yourself?
I also realized who was important to me. I was shocked by the lack of support I received from my own mother. She made my surgery about her and milked it for all it was worth. My father, brother and boyfriend were my main caretakers. I can't fault my mother for how she behaved, she was probably scared. Even if she wasn't, it is what it is and nothing I do nor think is gonna change that. Which brings me to another reality check: Your past only haunts you if you allow it. Yup! That's right. When you are wronged by others, when something doesn't go as planned, DO something to empower yourself about the situation. Don't piss and moan about how so-an-so didn't do x, y, and z. Move forward.
So let me ask you: Who/what has held you in the past? Are you willing to let it go?
Bad days? Yup! I've had them. You will too. The key is to not stay stuck in them. If today was my last day on Earth the last way I'd wanna spend it is on the couch moping about something. It's okay to have these feelings but once they become all consuming, you've got a problem. He didn't call? So what, take a bath. You didn't land the job of your dreams? So what, go out with your friends. Celebrate LIFE! We spend so much time mourning over things we cannot change, people we cannot change. While letting go is important, it's also equally important to celebrate the life you have right now.
So let me ask you: If today was your last day alive, how would you spend it? With who?
Sh*t happens. Life will not always be rainbows. However, you ALWAYS have power in how you respond and react to any of life's lemons. The power of decision cannot be taken away. Unless, of course, you choose to give it away. Which brings me to my final reality check: The power of decision is wasted on those who choose not to use it, who instead hand it over to a friend, a lover, a spouse, a situation, even cancer...
So let me ask you: Who/what is making your decisions? Who/what has your power?
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Relationships: The Pullback
You are with Mr. or Ms. Wonderful. Things are running along great! You can't imagine spending your life with anyone else. You are best friends, lovers, two peas in a pod. Then, all of a sudden, after an amazing time together, that person seems less interested in your relationship. You start to panic: Was it me? What did I do? Is he/she not interested? Should I call to figure this out? Should I go over there and demand answers? The answer: NO! You are just experiencing a natural and healthy relationship progression that I call "The Pullback".
So, what is a pullback? It's the time when your relationship has been nourished enough to flourish to the next level. This is a time when Spirit pulls you back to focus on you, your life, your career, your health and so on... The focus here is on YOU. So many people fight this natural progression, not realizing the blessing of the pullback.
We cannot constantly be forging ahead all the time. In energy, those stagnant moments are necessary in order to allow for transitions. Without those transitions, people would not experience personal growth and/or a new phase in the relationship. No amount of crying, begging, chasing, kicking or screaming will prevent the pullback from happening. Of course it feels good to be close. However, it is not healthy to be glued at the hip 100% of the time to anyone. This is especially true in the energetic world.
The best (and most disgusting) visual I ever received was a woman who was vomiting on her boyfriend. He had pulled back after an increasingly loving time together. As she asked me questions about him, each question showed him covered in more vomit. It got to the point that during the reading he was choking on her vomit. Yes, a grotesque visual, but it illustrates a valid point: When the other person pullbacks, let it happen! Don't be the suffocating partner. Would you like to be the one covered in vomit? I doubt it.
So, when does a pullback happen? Keep in mind, this is in a committed relationship:
1.) After a period of increased intimacy.
2.) When one or both partners needs to evaluate the next step of the relationship.
3.) When one or both partners is undergoing stress or major life decision.
4.) When too much energy has been passed to the other partner through thoughts, memories, feelings, dwelling...
5.) When one or both partners is experiencing a personal transition in energy.
This brings me to the point of what a pullback is not:
1.) The person you were dating that just stopped calling and won't return your calls.
2.) The unavailable (married, in a relationship) person who is devoting time to their actual committed life partner.
3.) The committed partner that poofs for weeks or months at a time. The disappearing act is NOT acceptable in a committed relationship.
4.) The guy or girl you had a one night stand with that never calls again.
5.) A nagging feeling that this relationship is over. If you are unhappy, only you can change that by walking away from the situation.
Pullbacks are a break in the usual pattern, so it causes a lot of concern. However, trust that this phase is happening for a reason. You wouldn't experience it if it wasn't necessary and most importantly, if you weren't ready. Try to see it as a positive. With every pullback follows a step forward on YOUR path. Don't read into it. Don't chase your partner. Don't dwell on the negative. Just let it all go. Let him/her pullback and have the grace to pullback into your life as well. Soon enough the reason for the pullback will be revealed and you will be grateful you didn't spend days or weeks energetically vomiting on your partner.:)
So, what is a pullback? It's the time when your relationship has been nourished enough to flourish to the next level. This is a time when Spirit pulls you back to focus on you, your life, your career, your health and so on... The focus here is on YOU. So many people fight this natural progression, not realizing the blessing of the pullback.
We cannot constantly be forging ahead all the time. In energy, those stagnant moments are necessary in order to allow for transitions. Without those transitions, people would not experience personal growth and/or a new phase in the relationship. No amount of crying, begging, chasing, kicking or screaming will prevent the pullback from happening. Of course it feels good to be close. However, it is not healthy to be glued at the hip 100% of the time to anyone. This is especially true in the energetic world.
The best (and most disgusting) visual I ever received was a woman who was vomiting on her boyfriend. He had pulled back after an increasingly loving time together. As she asked me questions about him, each question showed him covered in more vomit. It got to the point that during the reading he was choking on her vomit. Yes, a grotesque visual, but it illustrates a valid point: When the other person pullbacks, let it happen! Don't be the suffocating partner. Would you like to be the one covered in vomit? I doubt it.
So, when does a pullback happen? Keep in mind, this is in a committed relationship:
1.) After a period of increased intimacy.
2.) When one or both partners needs to evaluate the next step of the relationship.
3.) When one or both partners is undergoing stress or major life decision.
4.) When too much energy has been passed to the other partner through thoughts, memories, feelings, dwelling...
5.) When one or both partners is experiencing a personal transition in energy.
This brings me to the point of what a pullback is not:
1.) The person you were dating that just stopped calling and won't return your calls.
2.) The unavailable (married, in a relationship) person who is devoting time to their actual committed life partner.
3.) The committed partner that poofs for weeks or months at a time. The disappearing act is NOT acceptable in a committed relationship.
4.) The guy or girl you had a one night stand with that never calls again.
5.) A nagging feeling that this relationship is over. If you are unhappy, only you can change that by walking away from the situation.
Pullbacks are a break in the usual pattern, so it causes a lot of concern. However, trust that this phase is happening for a reason. You wouldn't experience it if it wasn't necessary and most importantly, if you weren't ready. Try to see it as a positive. With every pullback follows a step forward on YOUR path. Don't read into it. Don't chase your partner. Don't dwell on the negative. Just let it all go. Let him/her pullback and have the grace to pullback into your life as well. Soon enough the reason for the pullback will be revealed and you will be grateful you didn't spend days or weeks energetically vomiting on your partner.:)
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
What is love? What ishappiness?
I was talking to another psychic friend last night regarding the topic of positive emotions: love, happiness, joy, peace... Where do these come from? Often I get emails from clients, and even casual emails from friends and family, with the same formula: "________ happened. I am so happy." I always giggle because I want to ask, "Well what were you before you got that news and/or that even happened?"
We are conditioned to believe that what we seek--love, happiness and acceptance--comes from without. No, this is not the case. Think back to when you were a child. Did you wake up everyday holding out hope for that dream career? Did you fixate on getting your ex boyfriend back? Somewhere along the line we are programmed to seek outside sources to gain what we truly can ourselves. We all have the special talent to feel happy and loved even when our external circumstances are less than ideal. Isn't it great we were given such an amazing birthright?
The truth is, love and happiness exist whether you see them or not. You have the power to grasp them at any given moment. This is your choice. You can either hold out for something to happen to make you feel great or you can take steps towards feeling peaceful with your given circumstances, even happy with those circumstances, without the desired outcome. You can come to a place of happiness, feeling loved and accepted, no matter what.
Is there a magic bullet to get into this state? Not exactly. It takes work and for some of us, it will take a lot of work:
Step 1.) Acknowledge the reality and the accountability with the given circumstance. Once you own your feelings, your fault and/or your role in the current position, you move out of helpless victim-hood and into a place of personal power.
Step 2.) Forgive yourself and others for what has happened and let that old story go with love and gratitude. Have a letting go ceremony if you need to for that old story. Stop convincing yourself that you won't be happy until _____ happens. Stop telling yourself that you are not loved until you have a romantic relationship. Take control and change your thoughts to a different radio station. Better yet, figure out where that old stinky belief came from and find forgiveness for yourself, others and/or the circumstance that implanted it.
Step 3.) Do not dwell on the past. More importantly, do not dwell on the need for your current circumstances to change. There isn't anything wrong with having desires, but we are breaking the addiction to needing outside "wants" to fulfill us and give us happiness. In order to do so, focus on the present situation and find what you are grateful for: friends? TV? pet? beautiful weather? physical health? career? Focus on what you have and come to a place of peace with your present life, even if this means you have only one thing to focus on. Small steps still result in progress!
Step 4.) Create a new story where you are the star. Pay attention to your hopes, dreams and desires for yourself. Find comfort, even when things seem to be stagnant or tumbling down around you. When old thought patterns arise, trust there is a reason things have happened and let it go.This can be the tricky part because we want to circle back to wanting for the sake of filling a place of lack. Do not go there. Only you can plug those holes.
Step 5.) Be happy! Tell yourself, "No matter what is going on around me, I am happy and I am loved." Use positive affirmations to keep yourself from going down the doom and gloom road. Use positive emotions as fuel for the manifesting process. Even by saying, "I am happy" or "I am loved" you are attracting these types of feelings. Start using those emotions to manifest for an area outside of what you are invested in: manifest new friends, a new hobby, a cup of coffee, a free desert, a spa day... As you attract positive experiences and emotions related to other areas of your life, you will begin to see how silly it is to look to a new job, a reunion with your ex or a new lover for fulfillment.
It just takes time, dedication and practice to not rely on a particular outcome as the source of love and happiness. Always remember that love and happiness, those vibrations, exist all over the Universe and they are free to grasp at any given moment. It's your birthright.
We are conditioned to believe that what we seek--love, happiness and acceptance--comes from without. No, this is not the case. Think back to when you were a child. Did you wake up everyday holding out hope for that dream career? Did you fixate on getting your ex boyfriend back? Somewhere along the line we are programmed to seek outside sources to gain what we truly can ourselves. We all have the special talent to feel happy and loved even when our external circumstances are less than ideal. Isn't it great we were given such an amazing birthright?
The truth is, love and happiness exist whether you see them or not. You have the power to grasp them at any given moment. This is your choice. You can either hold out for something to happen to make you feel great or you can take steps towards feeling peaceful with your given circumstances, even happy with those circumstances, without the desired outcome. You can come to a place of happiness, feeling loved and accepted, no matter what.
Is there a magic bullet to get into this state? Not exactly. It takes work and for some of us, it will take a lot of work:
Step 1.) Acknowledge the reality and the accountability with the given circumstance. Once you own your feelings, your fault and/or your role in the current position, you move out of helpless victim-hood and into a place of personal power.
Step 2.) Forgive yourself and others for what has happened and let that old story go with love and gratitude. Have a letting go ceremony if you need to for that old story. Stop convincing yourself that you won't be happy until _____ happens. Stop telling yourself that you are not loved until you have a romantic relationship. Take control and change your thoughts to a different radio station. Better yet, figure out where that old stinky belief came from and find forgiveness for yourself, others and/or the circumstance that implanted it.
Step 3.) Do not dwell on the past. More importantly, do not dwell on the need for your current circumstances to change. There isn't anything wrong with having desires, but we are breaking the addiction to needing outside "wants" to fulfill us and give us happiness. In order to do so, focus on the present situation and find what you are grateful for: friends? TV? pet? beautiful weather? physical health? career? Focus on what you have and come to a place of peace with your present life, even if this means you have only one thing to focus on. Small steps still result in progress!
Step 4.) Create a new story where you are the star. Pay attention to your hopes, dreams and desires for yourself. Find comfort, even when things seem to be stagnant or tumbling down around you. When old thought patterns arise, trust there is a reason things have happened and let it go.This can be the tricky part because we want to circle back to wanting for the sake of filling a place of lack. Do not go there. Only you can plug those holes.
Step 5.) Be happy! Tell yourself, "No matter what is going on around me, I am happy and I am loved." Use positive affirmations to keep yourself from going down the doom and gloom road. Use positive emotions as fuel for the manifesting process. Even by saying, "I am happy" or "I am loved" you are attracting these types of feelings. Start using those emotions to manifest for an area outside of what you are invested in: manifest new friends, a new hobby, a cup of coffee, a free desert, a spa day... As you attract positive experiences and emotions related to other areas of your life, you will begin to see how silly it is to look to a new job, a reunion with your ex or a new lover for fulfillment.
It just takes time, dedication and practice to not rely on a particular outcome as the source of love and happiness. Always remember that love and happiness, those vibrations, exist all over the Universe and they are free to grasp at any given moment. It's your birthright.
Monday, October 26, 2009
The Road Less Traveled: Reacting with Love and Compassion
When we are hurt by another, it's easy to be petty. Why not give that person a taste of his/her own medicine? Why not punish that person for what he/she has done? Why do you even owe them your forgiveness and compassion? They hurt you! You are the victim in all of this! Right? WRONG! Children throw tantrums, adults seek to find personal resolution and Spirit, most importantly, learns the lesson from the experience while finding both forgiveness and compassion for the other party.
I had a recent event with my current boyfriend that could have turned ugly had I not remained grounded in the moment, listened to my intuition and came from an open-hearted perspective. Instead of using my fears, I chose to use Spirit to guide me through the process. Because I feel it's important to understand that I am only human, I want to share this experience with you:
I found out recently that my boyfriend had been engaging in sexual flirting with a woman whom he dated before me. They were never serious. In fact, when he and I were just friends I remember them having the "There is no future" conversation over and over again. He wanted to be friends with her and I was supportive, although her actions and my spidey senses told me she wanted more. In the past few months the friendship had crossed the line from friends to engaging in flirtation related to their sexual past. He had been hiding this activity from me, deleting the conversations (both online and texting). I was given the opportunity to confront the situation--she had texted him when we were out--and he admitted to it. Of course I was angry. I was hurt! However, I didnt let that feeling overwhelm me. Instead, I took two steps back, a deep breath and centered myself. I distanced myself from the physical situation and asked for help, specifically what to do. Do I ignore him? Do I call him a bastard? Do I break things off? Do I scream at him? In that moment, as I sat in silence, I knew that I needed to talk to him. I could not let this fester another moment. It wasn't about me seeking an apology. It was about me honoring his Spirit enough to give him the opportunity to say his peace. I felt compassion for him--people who are feeling good about themselves dont' engage in these type of behaviors. Albeit not an excuse but it helped me to find a place where I could empathize with that part of him.
As we spoke, the conversation focused on us--were we going to make this work and how-- rather than what he did wrong. I took the blame game out of the equation. I lived in the moment, listening to him as he explained himself and how he planned to rectify things. I only raised my voice a few times to let him know I was angry, that this behavior was unacceptable and that it would not be tolerated in the future. I didn't let my emotions or my fears wrap me up in a knot so tight I couldn't feel my gut. No, I kept those spidey senses on and observed the situation, only responding from a place of compassion. My heart was open the whole time. The heart is needed most in these types of situations.
At the end of it all, we came out stronger. I never doubted for a second, when listening to my higher self, that he would engage in this type of behavior again. I could see that he was only human, that humans make mistakes and that he was truly sorry for this. One apology was enough (although I am hearing it more than that). I stood my ground, listened to my intuition and the result was stepping over a hurdle that could have destroyed our relationship. Additonally, after he had been betrayed so many times by his ex girlfriend, he was able to find compassion for her by understanding how easy people can make these mistakes even though they love the other person. Everything came full cirlce for the both of us--him with respect to his issues with cheating and me in respect to acting from a place of love rather than fear.
I am not writing this to advocate cheating. Of course this behavior will not be tolerated in the future. The reality is: People make mistakes and peolple will hurt us. When we react from a loving, centered, grounded and compassionate place, we gain the greatest resolution. Spirit lives in the present, always advocating for our highest good. You will know what your truth is regarding the person and/or situation. Whether we decide to remain in contact with that person or not is our choice, but either way, we need to let go with love. Love heals.
I had a recent event with my current boyfriend that could have turned ugly had I not remained grounded in the moment, listened to my intuition and came from an open-hearted perspective. Instead of using my fears, I chose to use Spirit to guide me through the process. Because I feel it's important to understand that I am only human, I want to share this experience with you:
I found out recently that my boyfriend had been engaging in sexual flirting with a woman whom he dated before me. They were never serious. In fact, when he and I were just friends I remember them having the "There is no future" conversation over and over again. He wanted to be friends with her and I was supportive, although her actions and my spidey senses told me she wanted more. In the past few months the friendship had crossed the line from friends to engaging in flirtation related to their sexual past. He had been hiding this activity from me, deleting the conversations (both online and texting). I was given the opportunity to confront the situation--she had texted him when we were out--and he admitted to it. Of course I was angry. I was hurt! However, I didnt let that feeling overwhelm me. Instead, I took two steps back, a deep breath and centered myself. I distanced myself from the physical situation and asked for help, specifically what to do. Do I ignore him? Do I call him a bastard? Do I break things off? Do I scream at him? In that moment, as I sat in silence, I knew that I needed to talk to him. I could not let this fester another moment. It wasn't about me seeking an apology. It was about me honoring his Spirit enough to give him the opportunity to say his peace. I felt compassion for him--people who are feeling good about themselves dont' engage in these type of behaviors. Albeit not an excuse but it helped me to find a place where I could empathize with that part of him.
As we spoke, the conversation focused on us--were we going to make this work and how-- rather than what he did wrong. I took the blame game out of the equation. I lived in the moment, listening to him as he explained himself and how he planned to rectify things. I only raised my voice a few times to let him know I was angry, that this behavior was unacceptable and that it would not be tolerated in the future. I didn't let my emotions or my fears wrap me up in a knot so tight I couldn't feel my gut. No, I kept those spidey senses on and observed the situation, only responding from a place of compassion. My heart was open the whole time. The heart is needed most in these types of situations.
At the end of it all, we came out stronger. I never doubted for a second, when listening to my higher self, that he would engage in this type of behavior again. I could see that he was only human, that humans make mistakes and that he was truly sorry for this. One apology was enough (although I am hearing it more than that). I stood my ground, listened to my intuition and the result was stepping over a hurdle that could have destroyed our relationship. Additonally, after he had been betrayed so many times by his ex girlfriend, he was able to find compassion for her by understanding how easy people can make these mistakes even though they love the other person. Everything came full cirlce for the both of us--him with respect to his issues with cheating and me in respect to acting from a place of love rather than fear.
I am not writing this to advocate cheating. Of course this behavior will not be tolerated in the future. The reality is: People make mistakes and peolple will hurt us. When we react from a loving, centered, grounded and compassionate place, we gain the greatest resolution. Spirit lives in the present, always advocating for our highest good. You will know what your truth is regarding the person and/or situation. Whether we decide to remain in contact with that person or not is our choice, but either way, we need to let go with love. Love heals.
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